Nov 13 2006
What’s in a name?
As I’m sure you know, when a parent saddles a child with an unusual first name, it is considered good form to provide the child with a fall-back middle name, one that, if the first proves to be too problematic, can be used safely and without controversy.
As you now know, my first name is Sander. Although not entirely unknown (younger people tend to associate it with Xander of Buffy fame), it isn’t exactly standard. Also, because it confuses people, I am often called strange variations, like Sanders, Sandler, Sandlers, Saunder, Saunders and, more meliciously, Slander.
So, keeping all that in mind, care to venture another guess for that ‘R’ middle name?
Ok, so I won’t keep you in suspense any longer… The middle name for the Jewish lad from Manhatten is:
ROSCOE!
There were two especially problematic things with Roscoe. First, when I was very little, my mother called me Sander Rascal Wolff. As a result, I adopted my Father’s sister’s married name: Katz.
So, from the ages of about 3-7 I was Sander Katz Wolff. The other problem was The Dukes of Hazzard. That TV show featured a character by the name of Roscoe P Coltrain. The association was inescapable so, even though I recovered from the Rascal issue, my middle name remained a deep dark secret.
It wasn’t until my late 20s, when I started doing some journalism work, that I decided it was necessary to ressurect my middle name. If you want to know about that, go here. Be prepared, though. It is Twilite Zone freaky.